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dreamtrancelmfao crack baby!!
I have finished the next installment of the crack!fic from hell.
first piece is here
here's the continuation
--
Topher and Satan took their places behind their respective podiums as the sleazy host began to give his speech.
“Welcome to InJeopardy! The game where there is no money at stake only your reason for existence!”
An unseen audience clapped and Chef Joey and Lancesten looked at each other rolling their eyes.
“This is pathetic.”
Chef Joey shrugged. “Yup, but what did you expect? Wheel of Fortune?”
“Now lets get this game rolling shall we? You both know the rules. At the end of the game the Evil Overlord with the most points will take over Hell.”
“Yes we get it, lets get on with the game.”
“Very well. Here are our categories: Boybands, Sex Toys, Crack and The Life Of A 30 Year Old Evil Overlord. Satan, you pick first.”
“What the hell kind of categories are those?”
The announcer tapped his fingers against his mic. “Don’t complain Satan just pick one!”
“Fine! I pick Boybands for 200 dollars.”
“Boybands for 200 dollars, and the answer is: Lou Pearlman”
BZZZZ
“Topher SpockStewart!”
“What is the sleaziest thing to ever walk this planet.”
“Correct!”
“What the hell kind of answer is that?”
The announcer flat out ignored Satan’s question, “Your turn to pick SpockStewart.”
“I’ll take Sex Toys for 200 please.”
“Sex Toys for 200 dollars, and the answer is: Purple.”
BZZZZ
“Topher SpockStewart!”
“What is the color of Justin’s first vibrator?”
“Correct!”
“How in the hell am I supposed to know things like that?”
“You’re Satan, you’re supposed to know everything now shut up!”
“Uh Joe, how did they know that Justin’s first vibrator was purple?”
Joe shook his head. “Um good question, I didn't even know his first one was purple.”
“Hush you guys. We’re playing a game here.” Topher SpockStewart grinned before turning back to the announcer.
“I’ll take Sex Toys for 400 please.”
“Sex Toys for 400 dollars, and the answer is: Cleveland, Ohio.”
BZZZZ
“Topher SpockStewart!”
“What is the place where Joey bought his favorite pair of handcuffs?”
“Correct!”
Satan began to growl and grow even redder I the face as the questions progressed. By the time it got down to the last question he was about ready to explode.
“Okay this is the final question, you have each written down your bets, here we go, the answer is: oh your momma is one hot motha to produce a fiery babe like you.”
*cue jeopardy music*
Joe and Lancesten looked at each other. “What the hell kind of answer is that?”
“I’m not so sure I want to know the question.”
DING
“Time’s up! Satan since you’re behind we’ll take your answer first.”
Satan held up his slate and it said ‘what is a bad porno movie?’
EEHHH
“Incorrect, and your wager was . . . 1 million dollars. That puts you at a negative 1 million dollars. Topher SpockStewart, what is your answer?”
Topher held up his slate and it said ‘what is Satan’s favorite pick-up line?’
“Correct! And with your wager of 1 million dollars you are the winner with a total score of 500 million dollars!”
An imaginary audience cheered.
“Now tell our winner what he has received!”
“Topher SpockStewart you have won the unholy title of Ruler of the Underworld! You will be in charge of all things unholy and sinful! For all of eternity you will live out your life in damnation ruling Hell and those sentenced to spend out eternity in the pits of hellfire!”
Topher beamed waving to the imaginary crowd.
“Now what about our runner up?”
“Satan, since you have lost everything you have ever possessed you will be forced to live your life in Cleveland, Ohio making your living scalping tickets to minor league baseball and hockey games and selling hotdogs.”
Satan crumpled to the ground and began to weep.
Topher SpockStewart rolled his eyes. “Oh stop that, it’s embarrassing.” With a snap of his fingers the announcer and podiums disappeared leaving them all back on the beach.
“But I hate Cleveland!”
“How about we make a deal?”
Satan looked up at SpockStewart trying to judge of he was serious. “What did you have in mind?”
“You go back to hell and being the holy of unholy and leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. Well until I am forced to relocate to hell, in that case I will take over and you will be one of my minions.”
“No Cleveland?”
“No Cleveland. Do we have a deal?”
“Yes!”
They shook hands and in a poof of red smoke Satan disappeared.
“Topher, are you on crack?”
“Not today Joe.”
“You could have taken over Hell and instead you gave it back to Satan?”
“Oh he’s only in charge until I get down there.” Topher grinned.
Lancesten shook his head. “You really are insane.”
“Of course I am, I’m Evil Overlord Topher SpockStewart! You’d have to be insane to admit you have a name like that.”
“So true, so, so true.”
I have finished the next installment of the crack!fic from hell.
first piece is here
here's the continuation
--
Topher and Satan took their places behind their respective podiums as the sleazy host began to give his speech.
“Welcome to InJeopardy! The game where there is no money at stake only your reason for existence!”
An unseen audience clapped and Chef Joey and Lancesten looked at each other rolling their eyes.
“This is pathetic.”
Chef Joey shrugged. “Yup, but what did you expect? Wheel of Fortune?”
“Now lets get this game rolling shall we? You both know the rules. At the end of the game the Evil Overlord with the most points will take over Hell.”
“Yes we get it, lets get on with the game.”
“Very well. Here are our categories: Boybands, Sex Toys, Crack and The Life Of A 30 Year Old Evil Overlord. Satan, you pick first.”
“What the hell kind of categories are those?”
The announcer tapped his fingers against his mic. “Don’t complain Satan just pick one!”
“Fine! I pick Boybands for 200 dollars.”
“Boybands for 200 dollars, and the answer is: Lou Pearlman”
BZZZZ
“Topher SpockStewart!”
“What is the sleaziest thing to ever walk this planet.”
“Correct!”
“What the hell kind of answer is that?”
The announcer flat out ignored Satan’s question, “Your turn to pick SpockStewart.”
“I’ll take Sex Toys for 200 please.”
“Sex Toys for 200 dollars, and the answer is: Purple.”
BZZZZ
“Topher SpockStewart!”
“What is the color of Justin’s first vibrator?”
“Correct!”
“How in the hell am I supposed to know things like that?”
“You’re Satan, you’re supposed to know everything now shut up!”
“Uh Joe, how did they know that Justin’s first vibrator was purple?”
Joe shook his head. “Um good question, I didn't even know his first one was purple.”
“Hush you guys. We’re playing a game here.” Topher SpockStewart grinned before turning back to the announcer.
“I’ll take Sex Toys for 400 please.”
“Sex Toys for 400 dollars, and the answer is: Cleveland, Ohio.”
BZZZZ
“Topher SpockStewart!”
“What is the place where Joey bought his favorite pair of handcuffs?”
“Correct!”
Satan began to growl and grow even redder I the face as the questions progressed. By the time it got down to the last question he was about ready to explode.
“Okay this is the final question, you have each written down your bets, here we go, the answer is: oh your momma is one hot motha to produce a fiery babe like you.”
*cue jeopardy music*
Joe and Lancesten looked at each other. “What the hell kind of answer is that?”
“I’m not so sure I want to know the question.”
DING
“Time’s up! Satan since you’re behind we’ll take your answer first.”
Satan held up his slate and it said ‘what is a bad porno movie?’
EEHHH
“Incorrect, and your wager was . . . 1 million dollars. That puts you at a negative 1 million dollars. Topher SpockStewart, what is your answer?”
Topher held up his slate and it said ‘what is Satan’s favorite pick-up line?’
“Correct! And with your wager of 1 million dollars you are the winner with a total score of 500 million dollars!”
An imaginary audience cheered.
“Now tell our winner what he has received!”
“Topher SpockStewart you have won the unholy title of Ruler of the Underworld! You will be in charge of all things unholy and sinful! For all of eternity you will live out your life in damnation ruling Hell and those sentenced to spend out eternity in the pits of hellfire!”
Topher beamed waving to the imaginary crowd.
“Now what about our runner up?”
“Satan, since you have lost everything you have ever possessed you will be forced to live your life in Cleveland, Ohio making your living scalping tickets to minor league baseball and hockey games and selling hotdogs.”
Satan crumpled to the ground and began to weep.
Topher SpockStewart rolled his eyes. “Oh stop that, it’s embarrassing.” With a snap of his fingers the announcer and podiums disappeared leaving them all back on the beach.
“But I hate Cleveland!”
“How about we make a deal?”
Satan looked up at SpockStewart trying to judge of he was serious. “What did you have in mind?”
“You go back to hell and being the holy of unholy and leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. Well until I am forced to relocate to hell, in that case I will take over and you will be one of my minions.”
“No Cleveland?”
“No Cleveland. Do we have a deal?”
“Yes!”
They shook hands and in a poof of red smoke Satan disappeared.
“Topher, are you on crack?”
“Not today Joe.”
“You could have taken over Hell and instead you gave it back to Satan?”
“Oh he’s only in charge until I get down there.” Topher grinned.
Lancesten shook his head. “You really are insane.”
“Of course I am, I’m Evil Overlord Topher SpockStewart! You’d have to be insane to admit you have a name like that.”
“So true, so, so true.”
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no subject
Date: 2002-10-02 11:11 am (UTC)Darling...I don't know what to do with you sometimes.
*cracking up*
*offers you a LifeSaver* ;)
no subject
Date: 2002-10-02 11:15 am (UTC)*takes lifesaver*
thank you :o)
no subject
Date: 2002-10-02 11:34 am (UTC)i'm not gonna be able to make that trip to NYC in december. my last final is friday at 3. fuckers.