ramblings

I sit down and think about it and really I've only been writing for a few months. This is my first/only fandom. I only have a handful of stories to my name.
All that is nothing compared to most of the authors I read and a lot of the ones I dont who have been known for a long while and unkonwn for even longer.

It's weird because I sit here and think about the number of plot bunnies in my head, and possible stories and I just roll my eyes. I don't want to write the funny/happy AU. I don't want to write the schmoopy fic where everyone gets what they want. I've written the fic where Chris is broken and Joey fixes him. I have or could because more of the same resides in my head.

I want to write what I feel. What's burried deep inside me. I want to rip Chris apart and leave him broken. I want Joey to hate himself because he can't fix Chris. I want the humor and the snark to be laden with pain and anger. I don't want schmoop, I don't want happy.

But I can't write it. It hurts too much.

(no subject)

Current favorite group:
it changes by the hour, at the moment Sister Hazel

Current favorite solo artist:
does Paul Oakenfold count?

Current favorite lyrics:

you'll be the one
That just left me undone
By my own, hesitation

and for the million hours that we were
well I'll smile and remember it all
then I'll turn and go
while your story's completed mine is a long way from done.

Where will I be when I stop wondering why
I'd toast to the future but that'd be a lie


Current favorite song:
Champagne High - Sister Hazel

random question:

would you rather be a Psychopathic Serial Killer who feels completely justified in your killings and believes you're comitting an act of love and justice . . .

or

a hired assassin who kills whoever he/she is paid to whether or not it is justifiable?

(no subject)

(from here

CK is a robotic dog that can be used as a metal detector! It can bring down an elephant and will drive you insane.

well the insane part is right

(no subject)

note to self:

a) you don't like first person
b) you don't think in first person
c) you dont write well in first person

conclusion: next time plot the story out in something other than First Person!

(no subject)

*bangs head on desk*

I'm freaking out about writing an email.

This sucks.

(and I still haven't sent it yet)